


Charity Case

by Fire_Bear



Series: Walking in a Winter Wonderland [11]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Guilt, M/M, Multi, christmas food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13115793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Bear/pseuds/Fire_Bear
Summary: Eggsy comes home to find his mum cooking Christmas food an entire week before the day. Unable to protest, Eggsy is urged to take it to his neighbour, whose husband died a few months before and will be entirely alone for Christmas.





	Charity Case

“Mum, you do realise it's not Christmas until next week, right?” Eggsy said when he walked into the kitchen to the smell of turkey and brussel sprouts. 

“I know,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes. “You and your dad are just the same." She breathed out a put-upon sigh. "Besides," she added, "I’m not cooking for us.” 

Eggsy ran his eyes over the counter, taking in all the foodstuff she’d set out in boxes. There was a plate covered in tinfoil, hiding a huge lump of a thing: Eggsy presumed it was an entire turkey. Beside it was a smaller plate, also covered in tinfoil, which Eggsy assumed was some ham, judging by the remains of a hough of ham still sitting on the counter. Then there were the vegetables. An array of boxes contained roast potatoes and parsnips, whole and mashed boiled potatoes, carrots, two types of peas, both fresh beetroot and beetroot pickled in vinegar, broccoli, turnip and what appeared to be a tiny amount of cabbage. Little tubs of chutney and cranberry sauce were nestled between them. At the end of the counter was a small caterpillar cake from Tesco, still in its box.

“Who the hell are you cooking for, a small army?!” Eggsy exclaimed.

“Oh, shush, you!” Michelle nudged him away from the counter. “Do me a favour and go find one of those big boxes from when we moved in here.”

“We still have those?” asked Eggsy, surprised. “We’ve been here years.”

“Yeah, but we thought they'd come in handy one day. So we unfolded them and put them in the cupboard under the stairs.”

Groaning loudly, Eggsy wandered in its direction. “I’ll never find them in there!” he called over his shoulder.

“Just use your eyes, Eggsy!”

* * *

It took two hours of ‘using his eyes’ to extract the boxes. He’d had to remove several things like tents and camping gear, some biking equipment, Daisy’s riding gear from when their parents had found a cheap enough riding school, Eggsy's old gymnastics gear (which smelled to high heaven and he wasn't sure whether to get it washed or not) and various other odds and ends that he hadn't even known they’d owned. Halfway through his excavation, his dad had returned from picking up Daisy from her friend's party and mentioned that Eggsy would have to put it all back once he’d gotten the boxes out. When Eggsy subtly hinted at his need for help, Lee used the excuse of his football coaching responsibilities to flee the house.

Finally, he hauled one of the huge Walkers crisps boxes – why did they even have one? – into the kitchen to find that his mum had something else in the oven. "What're you cooking this time?" he asked as he leaned against the counter, resisting the urge to nick a carrot or something.

"Mince pies," said Michelle, absently. She was looking over a recipe book, frowning slightly. "Though I think I've missed a step. You're going to have to test them for me."

"Test them for taste or poison?" said Eggsy with a cheeky grin.

"Oi!" Michelle swatted at him with the spoon she was holding. "Just for that, I won't be making you any dinner!"

Eggsy stared around at the mess, specifically the pile of dishes in the sink; once he'd made his point, he raised an eyebrow at his mother. "Are you really gonna be cooking?"

"Fine. I won't let you _order_ dinner."

"Okay, okay," said Eggsy, raising his hands in defeat. "What's all this in aid of, anyway?"

"It's for Mister Hart," said Michelle, the smile falling from her lips. "You know he's all alone now since his husband passed away – I thought he could do with some cheering up."

The name had made Eggsy's heart skip a beat before promptly plummeting. An ache started up once again at the reminder that Andrew Merlin was dead, killed in a horrific traffic collision. He forced it aside and grimaced at his mother. "Is it a good idea to be bothering him? He'll still be grieving."

"It's been four months, Eggsy," Michelle said, "and I've hardly seen him. You've seen the state of their front garden. It's getting out of hand."

Of course, Eggsy knew what his mum meant. Harry was always the one to be out in the garden, caring for it and making it bloom with colours. He usually gave the flowers he'd cut to his neighbours and Eggsy blushed every time either he or Merlin had given them to him. For their garden to be overgrown and unattractive, meant that Harry hadn't bothered to leave his house except for necessities – if he'd even bothered to do that since the funeral.

"Still..." said Eggsy, trying not to show how concerned he'd been since the crash.

"Even if he doesn't want to see anyone, he'll at least have something to eat." Michelle paused, twisting the spoon in her hands. "I worry about him. We all do- The  _neighbours_ , Eggsy. A lot of the people around here adored the two of them. They were always so eager to help. Both of them saved the community loads of times." Nodding, Michelle smacked the spoon into the palm of her opposite hand. "So!" she said. "You'll wait another couple of hours and then you'll be taking these 'round there."

"What, me?" exclaimed Eggsy, eyes wide.

"Yeah, you. You're the one who spoke to them the most – maybe Mister Hart will open up to you."

* * *

When Eggsy was nine years old, his dad had left the army and got a good job in an office. His parents, though still struggling, decided to take a mortgage out on a house so they'd have more room for an expanding brood. Despite having stopped at Daisy, Eggsy was thankful that they'd thought to get the extra room. His mum and dad grew busy, either with their jobs or looking after Daisy once she was born. He grew restless in his boring neighbourhood.

Eggsy often wondered where he would be if Harry Hart and Andrew Merlin hadn't moved in next door.

He'd been fifteen when it had happened, still in his gymnast phase. His face was spotty, his teeth were encased in braces and he'd decided his hair looked better a little long. All in all, he hadn't been very attractive. In comparison, Harry Hart and Andrew Merlin were like gods. Harry had a full head of beautiful locks, a pair of stylish glasses and a sharp suit. Merlin was completely bald, also with glasses and wore a cardigan but managed to make it look sexy.

Never before had Eggsy been at such a loss for words. He recovered them in time to introduce himself when they came over. As they'd left on that first night, Eggsy had managed to slip in a flirtatious comment, just for the fun of it and to try to get a rise out of them. They seemed to have ignored him at the time but, right up until Merlin's death, they still teased him about it from time to time. It had become a running joke.

Which was probably how the men had seen it.

In contrast, Eggsy had slowly come to terms with the massive crush he'd developed on both men. It was as if his body and mind considered them a package deal. Several times a month, he came to the fantasy of having both of them in bed. With them being so close, it had become a sort of personal torture. But Eggsy had seen how much they'd loved each other: how Merlin turned up with flowers after working in his big techy company all day, despite the hundreds of flowers in the garden; how Harry took whole days off his work in some sort of fancy, high-end shop to bake and cook for Merlin's return; how they would look for each other in a room, catch each other's eye and make excuses to leave and do who knew what elsewhere.

Since Merlin's death... Eggsy didn't know what to say to Harry. He knew how devastated Harry felt – Eggsy had felt a gaping hole within him when he'd found out. Harry would be feeling a lot worse. How was he supposed to face someone he wanted desperately to kiss yet also wanted nothing more than to scoop him up, wrap him in a blanket and keep him safe from the world, from himself and his selfish desires? Never having found his answer, Eggsy had left Harry alone, telling himself that the man would come to him and his family when he was ready.

Now, upon his mum's insistence, Eggsy stood on Harry's doorstep, large box in hand, nervously waiting for Harry to open it.

After a few minutes of waiting, Eggsy kicked at Harry's green door once again, hoping he wasn't damaging it. That was all Harry needed. Nothing happened for a few more minutes. Neighbours went by: they waved and called out out their season's greetings to Eggsy who called back but their strained smiles made it obvious that they were gossiping about Harry. Eggsy frowned, the desire to kick them shooting through him. Again, he 'knocked' on the door. This time, he got an answer.

With a horrid squeaking noise, the door inched open. Darkness greet Eggsy, the shadow of his neighbour barely visible. "Eggsy?" came a croak, Harry's voice barely recognisable.

"Jesus, Harry," Eggsy murmured, eyes wide. He couldn't see him, hidden as he was, but the way he seemed to be using the door as a shield scared him. Mentally shaking himself, he hefted the box in his arms. "I've got something for ya. Mum suggested it so..."

There was a pause. Then Harry stepped back and out of sight. Eggsy opened his mouth to protest, sure Harry was going to shut the door on him. Instead, the barrier was removed, opening wide to admit him. Eggsy blinked at the retreating figure of Harry, the back of his dressing gown whipping through a doorway and into their lounge. Cautious, Eggsy stepped inside, shuddering at how heavy the silence was.

"This stuff's food!" he called, if only to dispel the uneasiness settling in his stomach. There was no answer. "I'm gonna go put it in the kitchen."

When Harry didn't protest or appear, Eggsy kicked the front door closed and made his way to where he knew the kitchen was. He remembered the place: kept clean and organised by the couple, only a mess when Eggsy had been invited to help them. One such occasion stuck in his memory was when Harry had told Eggsy he was making Merlin some haggis from scratch. Halfway through, his friend had texted him and he'd quickly made his excuses to escape. It had been the most disgusting thing he had ever seen.

And then he walked into the kitchen.

Microwavable meal boxes littered the counters. There were dishes piled high in the sink and it wasn't like back home where his mum was likely making a start at cleaning up. A lot of them had caked on food. Takeaway containers were still half filled with Chinese or Indian food. What Eggsy could see of the counters was covered in a mess, either bits of rice or chicken or puddles of drink spillages. Abandoned bottles of alcohol, either empty or with a tiny amount still inside, poked their necks out of each pile of rubbish.

Eggsy made a choking sound as the smell hit him. It was disgusting, reminding him of alleys outside of clubs. He gingerly made his way around abandoned bags of prawn crackers which had apparently rolled across the floor to reach the island in the middle. There was nowhere to put the box so he pushed it onto the counter, wincing as things clattered off the other side. Taking a breath through his mouth and trying not to look disgusted in case Harry appeared, Eggsy turned to the fridge and opened it.

There was nothing there. When he picked his way over to the freezer he found that there were a few boxes of out of date food, all of them frozen over. Clearly, the freezer needed to be defrosted. The cupboards were equally bare. Sighing, Eggsy returned to the box and dutifully put the boxes and plates into the fridge. Then he went looking for the man of the house.

The lounge was equally disgusting when Eggsy entered. It smelled musty, with body odour and stale food contributing to the way Eggsy's nose wrinkled. There were plates and takeaway containers in there as well but were, thankfully, of a lesser amount than the kitchen. The curtains were drawn and the thick material let very little light in. Harry hadn't bothered with the lights. Glancing at the bookcase by the door, Eggsy ran his finger along a shelf and squinted at the dust he'd gathered. He blew it away and coughed, attracting Harry's attention. From what he could see, Harry was seated on Merlin's armchair, the one no-one else was allowed to sit on. His head moved towards where Eggsy stood before moving back to where he'd been staring.

Without speaking or warning Harry whatsoever, Eggsy strode purposefully over to the window. Harry didn't seem to notice. Gritting his teeth, Eggsy grasped the curtains and threw them open. Dust flew into his eyes and made him blink as he coughed it out of his lungs. There was a noise of protest and movement behind him but Eggsy ignored it as his eyes grew accustomed to the weak sunlight. He grabbed hold of the latch and opened the window, sticking his head out for a moment to breathe in the oddly muted scent of the flowers from the front garden.

Finally, he turned and made his way to the couch. He cleared himself a space and flopped down before turning to look at Harry. The sight made his heart hurt and he could feel the prick of tears. "Harry," he breathed, shocked at the state of him.

Instead of the usual well-kempt man Eggsy was used to seeing, a gaunt spectre gazed sightlessly back at him. His hair seemed greyer than it had been and was a complete mess. The longer locks had clearly not been combed or cut in some time. Some of the curls miraculously behaved, curling around his face; others stuck out at odd angles. The lenses of his glasses were so smudged, Eggsy wasn't sure he could actually see – if he was actually paying attention to his surroundings. A beard and moustache was attempting to grow, the stubble looking rather scratchy. Eggsy wondered if he'd kept up with shaving or if he just had difficulty growing facial hair. He wore a bunched up pair of red tartan pyjamas and a too-long tartan dressing gown of a contrasting blue. Eggsy figured they were Merlin's. His skin was pale and sickly looking and his cheeks were hollowed out. Dark circles nestled below his eyes; it made him look all the more skeletal.

Merlin would have been appalled.

"Harry," Eggsy said, more firmly. "Look at me."

With some effort, the man seemed to do so. His gaze was a little unfocussed until he blinked a few times and finally managed to see him. "Eggsy. What are you doing here?"

"I told you," Eggsy replied, his tone sharp despite his efforts. "I came here with stuff from my mum."

"You didn't need to," Harry began.

"I know," Eggsy said, shortly. "She made you an entire Christmas dinner."

"She did?"

"Yeah and she's got enough on her plate with our own Christmas. So you'd better bloody eat it or I'll smack you one, got it?"

A weak smile crossed Harry's face. "I will," he said. "Thank you. I'm sorry I've not gotten you a present this year-"

"Are you kidding me?!" Eggsy exclaimed. "I don't care about that." He gestured around the room. "Jesus, Harry, look at yourself. You've holed up in here for months. What would-?" Eggsy shut his mouth when he realised what he'd been about to say, teeth clacking from the force of it.

That seemed to rouse Harry, though, who sat up straighter and glowered at Eggsy over the top of his dirty glasses. Eggsy forced away the arousal that sprung up from the sight of it. "No," snapped Harry. "Do go on. What were you about to say?"

Angry at himself, Eggsy used it to finish his sentence. "What would Merlin think?"

"How dare-?!"

"No, Harry!" shouted Eggsy. "Look at this place. It's a mess. It stinks. _You_ probably stink but I don't wanna come too close or I'll throw up. Your kitchen's a state. The garden's overgrown – have you noticed or are you too busy wallowing in your misery?!"

Harry got to his feet, fists clenched. "Don't you dare- You have _no idea_ what I'm going through!"

"I have some idea!" Eggsy snapped as he shot to his feet, realising too late what he was saying. He decided he didn't care, not when Harry was slowly killing himself. "You can't just hide from this, Harry. There are people who care about you, for God's sake!"

With a hollow laugh, Harry shook his head. "Really? Then where are they?"

"They're giving you your space!" cried Eggsy, stepping forward. He tried to resist the urge to physically reach out to Harry.

"For... For this long?!" growled Harry, stepping forward again.

Eggsy quietened. "They don't know what to say or do, Harry. They barely see you. Some of them are probably convinced you're dead."

Harry's gaze turned cold. "I see. Well, I don't need their help. And I don't need _your_ charity."

"But-"

"I don't need your help," Harry insisted, venomously. "Get out."

Pain pierced Eggsy and his face fell, head dropping down. "Harry," he whispered. "Please. I... I care about you." Taking a breath, he raised his head to gaze sadly at his friend. "I was scared. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hurt you any more. I... I'm sorry, all right? But, please, let me help. Let all of us help. Please?"

Harry, who had slowly stopped glaring at Eggsy, suddenly slumped. "I... I just... He's..." Harry whispered, trailing off. His words sounded so painful that Eggsy closed what little distance was left between them and pulled Harry into a hug, ignoring the stink that came from him, the whiff of alcohol strong. Since Harry was taller, Eggsy had to place his chin on Harry's shoulder as he rubbed the widow's back.

"I know," he said, just as quietly, almost as painfully. "I'm so sorry."

They stayed like that for a while, Harry silently crying into Eggsy's shoulder; Eggsy could only tell from the way his shoulders shook. Eventually, Eggsy guided Harry to the couch and sat them both down. He kept his arms around Harry, guiding his head back down to his shoulder when the older man tried to sit up straight. They sat like that, Eggsy's arms around Harry's waist, Harry curled into him, while the sun began to make its descent.

Eventually, Harry pulled away, sitting straighter so he could smile at Eggsy, though he stayed close. "Thank you, Eggsy," he murmured. "I... It will take some time but... Thank you for showing you care. And I'm sorry if I've worried you. I just... don't have much in the way of family and, with Merlin gone..."

"It's cool," Eggsy replied, unable to tear his gaze away from Harry's eyes. "I get it."

"Do you?" said Harry, his eyes flicking downwards. Eggsy wondered if he was looking at his lips. He licked them and Harry glanced downwards once again.

Eggsy's heart was beating far too fast. He felt a little breathless. When was the last time he'd been this close to either Harry or Merlin? Would he ever be this close to Harry again? Memories of being told he'd never seen Merlin again ran through his mind and he realised that he could never know what was going to happen, that he could feel that pain of unrealised feelings once more.

Without thinking further than that, Eggsy gripped Harry's arm to stop him moving away. Harry blinked. "Eggsy?"

He leaned forward and kissed Harry.

It wasn't a quick peck or even just a chaste press of lips against lips. Eggsy used Harry's surprise to his advantage and pressed his tongue in, snogging him as if his life depended on it. Somewhere inside him, he was aware that he was attempting to convey how much he cared for Harry, how much he liked him, how much he wanted to climb into bed with him. His hands moved on their on, pressing against Harry's back and the back of Harry's head in order to draw him closer.

Harry seemed to go willingly, shifting closer, his own arms coming up to grip at Eggsy's arms. He pulled Eggsy close as well, his mouth shifting beneath Eggsy's lips. His tongue began to shift against Eggsy's drawing him into a more refined version of their kiss, tongues stroking instead of the messy movements Eggsy had been desperately doing. Eggsy tried to breathe through his nose in order to last longer but the smell made him gag and he quickly pulled back, drawing in a huge breath, and coughing a little. Once he was finished, he looked up to see the colour back in Harry's face, a flush across his cheeks.

The sight brought Eggsy back to his senses.

"Shit!" he gasped, scrambling to his feet and stumbling down the length of the couch.

"What- Eggsy?" said Harry, sounding a little stunned.

"Shit," Eggsy repeated. "Shit, shit, Harry, oh fuck, shit, I'm _so_ sorry!"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Eggsy told him, running a hand through his hair in his distress. "This is so not the time to-" He broke off and shook his head. "I shouldn't've acted on my stupid crush."

"No, Eggsy," said Harry, urgently. "It's not stupid. And I really don't mind. Both Mer-" Harry had to stop to draw in a shaky breath. "Both Merlin and I knew about it. We-"

"What?" said Eggsy flatly, staring in horror at Harry.

"We didn't mind it," Harry quickly continued. "We... Well, we discussed it at one point and... We agreed that we'd be interested in pursuing a polyamorous relationship with you if you ever decided to act on your feelings. Of course-"

"You what?!" Eggsy demanded, his heart seeming to clench, the horror of his two neighbours knowing about this making him feel choked up.

"Both of us were attracted to you, as well," Harry hastily explained. " _I_ am still attracted to you. We wanted to show you how much you could be loved – you told us about your previous relationships and we-"

" _Stop_." Eggsy could barely breathe. The pain from Merlin's death returned, compounded by the fact that he'd _known_. All that flirting, the teasing, everything he'd questioned and doubted, all of it had been real. Or... Not real. A test, to make him confess his feelings.

"Eggsy," Harry pleaded, clearly seeing how this revelation had affected Eggsy.

"No." Eggsy frantically shook his head so he wouldn't have to look at the man. "No, I- I'm not a charity case, Harry. I don't need you to help me or 'show me how much I can be loved' or whatever the fuck you just said. _I_ don't want _your_ charity. So... So, I'm sorry for kissing you, okay? Forget about it." He fixed Harry with a glare. "It won't happen again." Eggsy saw Harry's eyes widen but he didn't let himself falter, quickly turning on his heel and making his way to the door.

"Wait, Eggsy, please," said Harry. "Don't go."

"I've gotta help my mum clean up," Eggsy said, striding down the dark hallway. He could hear Harry hurrying after him. "Daisy probably needs help wrapping presents or something."

"I... I need you, Eggsy. I need help."

"You need to clean up, Harry," Eggsy told him over his shoulder, forcing his voice not to wobble. "It's almost Christmas. Go visit your mum or whoever." He grabbed the handle of the front door.

"I'd rather spend Christmas with you," Harry told him in a rush.

Eggsy hesitated, hope filling him. Part of him desperately wanted to forgive him, to forget it. What Harry and Merlin had done was not such a big deal. Other people had done much worse to encourage love confessions. But the guilt at having kissed Harry when Merlin was barely cold in his grave made him pull the front door open, tears making his vision swim. He blinked them away to look at Harry over his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Harry," he said, trying to sound stern but probably sounding pained instead.

"Wait, Eggsy," Harry said, hovering halfway down the hall. "I'm sor-"

The door slamming cut off his apology. Eggsy took a breath of fresh air, wiped at his eyes and hurried down the path before Harry opened the door again. He wanted Harry to rush after him, to come bursting out of his house with the words 'I love you' on his lips. But, of course, he also didn't want Harry to betray Merlin, didn't want to see him again for a while, wanted him to be more put-together than he'd been inside.

With his head in a mess, he turned into his own garden and wandered up it, hands in his pockets, and tried to look as nonchalant as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Just to explain: Harry and Merlin didn't confront Eggsy with his feelings because they didn't want to scare him off. They were just waiting for him to come to terms with it.


End file.
